This just in. The Church is against sin…

The Pope has released a statement concerning the financial crisis and basically it boils down to : Greed is bad.

Now make sure you bring in your W-2s so we can verify you are giving your full 10% to us. We do not pay taxes on it by the way. Also we condemn socialism. All the G-8 leaders have received our guidelines on ‘redistributing the wealth.’ We do good things all the time. Examples include endorsing Nazism, the Crusades, the Knights of Malta, The Crusades, adding to the worldwide spread of AIDS by condemning condoms, feeding the hungry heathens (as long as they swear allegiance to Jesus first!) Should I go on? Also we need to make sure we have funds available for our priesthood to stave off these totally true allegations of child molestation and pay lawyers to defend or draft settlements in the millions to those ‘allegedly’ molested.

Please do not take this as an attack against the Catholic Church solely. Most of this applies to Baptists, Muslims, Jews, Pentecostals, Presbyterians, Methodists and Mormons and generally anyone that feels superiority to all others based on their particular delusion of an invisible guy in the sky that loves us but will send us to Hell if we make some arbitrary slight against ‘Him.’


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